Pen Pen Gets Bored : Discontinued
by KTT-akida
Summary: Previously written under the penname Elliminist.


Pen Pen gets bored

This is a fanfic, 'nuff said.

Another Eva fanfic by Elliminist           

Disclaimer: Evangelion is definitely not owned by me * sigh *

***** 

In a Alternate Universe not so far away, 

In a reality quite so possible, 

In a world of chaos and fish, 

Was a penguin called Pen Pen.

"Wark…" Pen Pen took a bite out of his fish. Dressed in a penguin-customised spacesuit, he flew to galaxies bey…

"BAKA!"

Pen Pen looked on the radar of his ship.

"WARK! (Enemy 'devil' ship approaching, request permission to engage)" Pen Pen armed his P^2 mine (powerful penguin mine). He was evading this mother ship for weeks, and now, the final confrontation.

"Wark (where is the wimpy support when I need it?)" Pen Pen's flippers flew across his keyboard as he pulled the final trig…

Pen Pen's world turned upside down…

End Dream Sequence 

Misato Katsuragi's apartment shook as Asuka once again bashed down Shinji's door (not that it was too hard to achieve).

"WARK!!! (Goddamn! Let me sleep!)" Pen Pen squawked noisily at the offender.

"…gomen." The voice recognised as Shinji started moving.

Pen Pen slid open his fridge door to see a half asleep Shinji rubbing his eyes as he popped an instant meal in the microwave. 

Beep! Beep! Beep! 

As Shinji prepared the rest of the meal, Pen Pen decided his schedule for the day:

Pen Pen's Schedule

Breakfast

Sleep

Lunch

Sleep

Dinner

Sleep

"Wark… (I need something new to do)," Pen Pen looked at his "365 ways to entertain a pet penguin" calendar. After looking at the final options, Pen Pen decided on one thing: Follow the wimpy Shinji to school.

Pen Pen jumped out of his fridge and started gulping down his breakfast. "Wark (thumbs up!)" 

Shinji, still looking half-asleep, nodded back. He wouldn't be given time to take a break as…

SLAP!

"Wake up! C'mon, we've got to get to school!" Asuka shouted in Shinji's ear before watching him run around, sorting his stuff up. Asuka took a bite out of the instant toast. 

"Ohayoo Misato-san," Shinji greeted somewhere in the hall.

"morning…" she replied.

Asuka scooped up the crumbs of her toast and picked up her bag. "See ya later Misato, we're off for school." Shinji picked up his bag and followed.

Pen Pen started following the duo, but before he crossed the threshold of the door, a hand picked him up by the scruff of his neck. "Wark! Wark! Wark! (NOOOOOOOOO!)

"You aren't trying to go anywhere are you Pen Pen?" Misato asked the hyperactive bird. Pen Pen shook his head.

Misato dropped Pen Pen and took a breather. Did I see that penguin shake his head? Oh well, beer'll do the job! 

Misato opened a can of Yebitsu and took a generous amount. "YEAH!" 

The quiet apartments were shaken by the noise.

***** 

Pen Pen was fuming in the apartment. He had tried to make a break 15 times in the last hour, and that was when Misato was sober. Every attempt had met the same result: Misato had downed a drink every time he attempted escape. Currently, she was sprawled out on the living room, looking for another excuse to drink some more. 

"Wark. (Attempt no. 16, strategical storming of the main enemy encampment of Yebitsu)" Pen Pen took a dash for the living room. 

SQUAWK!

Pen Pen went airborne as he gained altitude to evade Misato. Things were going well, so well-

SPLAT!

Pen Pen pried himself of the wall he had flown into, and waddled the rest of the way out.

"WARK! (freedom!)"

***** 

Be Afraid. 

Be very afraid.

For a penguin of extreme squawkiness and agility is on the run.

Penguin Run 2. (Attempt no. 17)

***** 

Shinji Ikari was noted as a quiet boy, always hidden from view. He would always notice facts many other people would overlook. But he was sure they couldn't overlook the penguin jumping at the window.

Oh God, what have I done to deserve this? 

Pen Pen stopped jumping for Shinji's attention and began to think up another plan.

Shinji joined the class chatroom.

You are connected to: Devil's ranting

Hedgehog has been connected.

RedDevil: hey look, it's the baka.

Freckles: Shinji, what's up?

Touji: yea Shinji.

Hedgehog: Is it just me, or was there a penguin jumping up and down at the window?

They all looked out the window.

RedDevil: nope

Touji: You okay man? Seems like you late night romps with the devil have been taking out their toll on you man.

RedDevil has kicked Touji from the chatroom.

Freckles: Anyways…

Hedgehog: don't worry.

Hedgehog has left the chatroom.

Shinji looked out the window to see a jumping penguin with a flag marked: Yebitsu. Putting his hands on his head he sighed and slumped into his seat.

"Why me?"

Halfway across the room, Rei Ayanami was discovering yet another mystery of the universe. The chatroom.

Freckles: Poor Shinji, its getting to him.

RedDevil: getting to him?

Freckles: You know, piloting is having severe side effects on his brain.

RedDevil: I have been piloting for longer than Shinji. How is it not true that I am sane?

Freckles: *cough***** Then what about Asuka?

RedDevil: She is irrelevant.

Freckles: You know Ayanami, your friends are pretty weird.

RedDevil: You mean that penguin hopping up and down at the window?

Freckles: Oh no, not you too

Freckles has left the chatroom.

Pen Pen decided a new strategy was required. 

"Wark…(hmmm)" Pen Pen dropped the fake moustache he was holding, and the Yebitsu sign he was carrying, and took off the "I love Misato" T-shirt (curtesy of Kaji)

BRIIING!

The school bell declared it was lunch.

Shinji walked out of the classroom, picking up his lunch before proceeding. For he knew he would fear the moment he stepped out of the door.

"SHINJI!"

"Uh oh…"

"YOU FORGOT TO MAKE ME LUNCH!!"

"Gomen"

"WELL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"

"Yes Asuka. Take my lunch."

"GOOD!"

With a whirl of red, Asuka Langley Soryu, pilot of Evangelion 02, College graduate, no.1 girl in school, took her lunch.

"*sigh* that didn't go as badly as I expected."

***** 

Pen Pen strolled around the school cafeteria, in hopes of finding the 'wimpy Shinji'.

"WARK! WARK! WARK! (where the hell are you?)" Pen Pen jumped up and down as he searched for Shinji.

"Oh! A penguin! Its so cute!"

A group of junior girls decided they liked the waddling penguin, and started poking and pinching it. 

"Wark! (Help!)" Pen Pen's cries were deafened by the squealing noises made by the girls.

"Do you think my mom would let me have him?"

"No, I saw him first"

"No, that penguin probably belongs to someone"

"Wark! (TRUE! TRUE!)"

"I don't think so. C'mon, why would someone's pet penguin be in school? Looking for its owner?"

"Wark (my point exactly)"

"Well, you know what? I'm taking the penguin home."

"WARK! (fear…)"

Fortunately for our feathered hero, the red-haired devil came to his rescue.

"What? What is he doing here?"

"You…you know this penguin?" The girls screeched back. They had lost their stake.

"Of course, don't you see the collar bearing Pen^2?"

The girls looked at Pen Pen, who held his collar like a lifesaver.

"okay…" The girls backed off.

"WARK (Thank you oh gracious one, oh superb goddess, oh…)"

"That's enough Pen Pen. As if I don't have enough of that everyday."

"Wark…(…)"

"You want to find baka-Shinji don't you?"

Pen Pen nodded.

"Is it me, or did I just see that penguin nod?" Asuka picked up Pen Pen and dropped it in Hikari's arms. "Here, you take care of him, while I take a drink."

***** 

In another classroom…

Touji was planning his debut.

"I'll ask her out!"

"Sure you will," Kensuke was very optimistic about his chances, especially when he was using that sarcastic tone.

"Good luck Touji," Shinji said, before dropping his gaze.

"Okay…" Touji started leaving the room when…

"INCHOU!"

Hikari Horaki was standing at the door. 

"Touji?"

Upon seeing her secret crush come slamming into her forcefully, she swooned. Unfortunately, Pen Pen was also in this crush.

"oro?" Touji suddenly caught Hikari before she fell to the ground.

"WARK! (Help! Rapist!)" Pen Pen squirmed out of the 'human sandwich' and finally came into the room he believed Shinji was in. "Wark…(finally…)"

However…when Pen Pen finally arrived…

*****

End of Chapter 1.

A/N: I'm a bitch aren't I? Cliff-hanger ending :P 

Anywayz…I started this fic because I was bored…but unlike Pen Pen, I didn't go stalking someone…

More on this project will be revealed later.

Ja Mata, 

Akira Menai.


End file.
